Alexandra Walsh
I have been tasked with writing about my success as a woman in the 21st century, so my first instinct would be to explain what I understand by success. Success can be measured by how productive an individual is within a capitalist society, whether it be by how much money one makes or by how much better one is at their job compared to their colleagues. A success can also be looked at by life achievements and personal development (traditional values or new age self-actualisation concepts alike). Success is also the ability to achieve a goal or surpass a limit set by oneself or by one’s environment. Whichever way you chose to look at is, success is about achieving something compared to a majority of people within pre-set circumstances (although people tend to forget about the environmental circumstances being a factor).
I will not even attempt to breakdown our scientific understanding of gender as my word count and deadline will not permit it. It shall be sufficient to say that my sex is female, and my identified gender is a woman.
We must separate circumstances: The concepts of ‘a successful person’ and ‘a successful woman’ are not synonymous. The standards to which we can hold success for men and women are different due to the environmental circumstances affecting their success respectively. It is easier for men to become successful as they are not subjected to sexist oppression, so to qualify a man as successful, the bar must be held higher. Society is designed to enable men, so a woman must work harder to achieve the same level of success, thus making them more successful as their achievement is greater for the same outcome.
I can be considered a successful woman if we compare my situation to that of other women. I can be considered a failed woman in the eyes of traditional gender roles. I can be considered a successful person on the global scale. I can be considered a failed person given the circumstances and opportunities I have been given.
I am a white middle class European woman with a higher education degree in drama and psychology (BA) and have been studying for a master’s degree in psychology (MSc). I have full time employment in an office and rent a room in a shared house. I have lived in two first world countries (emigrated from France to England) and have dual nationality. I am fluent in two languages. I come from a stable home and unbroken family. I have none-the-less experienced hardship and oppression. I am one of the lucky ones.
I will admit to having feelings of imposter syndrome as I write this article. I do not feel successful, I have been given many opportunities which I have either squandered. My success is almost entirely thanks to my privilege as a white middle class person. When I compare myself to my peers, I see nothing but mediocre results when I know I have the capacity and opportunity to be more successful. I lack self-discipline and motivation, and I have a habit to focus on my failings more than my successes. But I have had successes to claim as my own. I have faced a world which does not want me to succeed and fought sexism every step of the way. My stubbornness has been my greatest ally. My inability to quit, even for the sake of my own health, has driven me to continue with studying for a masters that has felt unachievable.
What makes me a successful woman compared to other women, is that I am studying for a Master of Science. It is an opportunity that not accessible to most women throughout the world. This opportunity is thanks to student loans, money given to me by friends and family, a decent accessible education system, my own hard work, and free therapy/medical services.
What makes me an unsuccessful woman in traditional gender roles, is that I am 26 years old, unmarried, and childless. I am led to understand that most societies view this as a failure of womanhood. I disagree, I have the freedom to disagree. That is not a life I want for myself currently. I respect and admire those who view that path as an achievement for themselves. But I refuse to feel any shame or feel like a failure for not having achieved that for myself as it has never been my goal. You might say that I have been successful in breaking out of those expectations of myself.
What makes me a successful person on a world scale is purely the circumstances of my birth. I was born in Western Europe to white middle class parents. I grew up in the safety and comfort of a big house, with a stay-at-home mother. As an educated woman with an office job and access to healthcare, I am more privileged than most of humanity combined. This has not exempted me from facing casual sexism, rape culture, homelessness, xenophobia, mental health stigma, ableism, classism, fatphobia, homophobia, and general oppression. If I am what is considered privileged and successful, I can only imagine the misery that must be endured by those less fortunate than me.
What makes me a failed person is that the job and salary that I have do not match my level of education or even my capabilities. The circumstances of my living arrangement do not match my age or my goals. I have been studying at postgraduate level, yet I work a menial minimum wage job which requires no intellectual input. On a full-time job, I am unable to afford my own home, therefore must share within a student accommodation setting. Due to my gender, I am expected to do most of the housework and carry the mental load within the house, and I fail to fight for my equality amongst my housemates. The obstacles that I face in order to be a successful person, given my opportunities, are partly due to the social circumstances surrounding me (the sexism and ableism holding me back from employment befitting my capability), and my own failings (the burden of my internalised sexism and ableism halting me from enabling my success).
I recognise that I am privileged. I recognise that I am successful despite and thanks to my privilege. I recognise my failures, and I have introspection to understand what caused them. I have the capacity to fight through those failures, and I acknowledge that the injustice and systematic oppression I face require unity from all oppressed groups and the intersections to be dismantled. I am considered successful in a world built on oppression, as I have fought oppression by using the privileges afforded to me within the tiers of hierarchical capitalism. Am I truly successful if I am privileged? I would claim that part of my success is due to my strength of character which has enabled me to endure and my success can be measured against the oppressions I have faced. Yet I am not as successful as my equals if they have faced more oppression and obstacles than I have, to reach the same position or goal. Yes, I am one of the lucky ones, but this does not mean that I have not suffered to achieve my goals, and it certainly does not mean that privilege is inherent to success.
